Finding my voice

I found a way to stop my parents eating my head over the next eligible bachelor. The proposal in question had been suggested by my aunt B (why is it that all these aunties want me to get married. More than my parents, they are worried. I guess all they want is to show off their new sarees before it is out of fashion). The boy is the nephew of my aunt B from her husband's side. He is now working as an engineer in the US (Again US!). My aunt can vouch that the boy is a really nice 'Indian boy' and out of all 'American' influences (what she meant she alone knows, if only she could be more descriptive and not use such meaningless words!). My parents say that what she meant is that he had been born and brought up in India and that he had had no girlfriends. No wonder! I have seen him when we were kids and he looked… well, I don't want to comment on someone's looks as I believe beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Still … In short he was not my idea of a prince in shining armour (I guess every girl is entitled to her own silly romantic idea of her husband). When I say that to my parents, they don't get it. They are of the opinion that I shall eventually like him. "All that glitters is not gold". That is my mother's favourite dialogue. "If he was a handsome young man, then he might have had lots of girlfriends. Since he is not…” I don't understand that logic as I know that a lot of bad-looking guys in my college had really busy weekends. And some of the good looking ones were the ones inside the shed. So that point was baseless. "Your B auntie never liked J uncle. She was crying uncontrollably on the day before the wedding. Look how happy she is now." And I wondered why she wanted me also to marry someone I didn't fancy. Oops, sorry! She didn't know that I don’t like her nephew.

Still my parents pestered. His photo was sent via email. Photo of him with full skiing gear and poles, standing in front of a car with snow all around. (Exploiting my obsession with snow). "Look beta, now you can ski in the snow with him". But he looked the same. Or even worse. I didn't want to marry him. I didn't want to go skiing with him. My parents didn't stop their pestering (I really admire their perseverance).

They were saying, “if you say yes, then we shall ask them to come over to see you". Bloody hell! They kept bickering morning evening morning. And I couldn't imagine waking up next to that piece of flesh for the rest of my life. Is it for him that I saved up my virginity? So many opportunities flashed across my mind. No, I shan't allow that to happen.

The next time my parents started the topic, I gave them a piece of my mind and yelled, " I'm never gonna have sex with him! If you want to proceed, you go ahead! It will only embarrass you. Either I will say no in the church or I will reach US and divorce him giving impotence as the reason!”

And that was it! They never spoke to me about him, again.

Sometimes all we have to do is to use our voice.

P.S. This was the first time I used sex in a conversation with my Dad. Ah! That was so liberating! 

The matrimonials

The Indian Matrimonial Industry-- how much money they must make. Really!

There are matrimonial columns in the newspaper, a full six to eight pages of the Sunday newspaper or its supplement is devoted to the matrimonial 'advertisements'. A sample goes thus.  "Alliance invited for Iyer girl/ Vadama/ Srivatsam/ 1986/ 175cm/ B.Tech/ Very Fair Complexion/ Affluent family , from Iyer boys/ 1980-1983/ 182cm/ Engineer-IT/ Affluent family." What if there's a guy with all other specifications except that his height is 180 cm instead or he is born in 1984. These ads, they are the ultimate. Another one runs thus. “31 year old Pentecost Christian, graduate, unemployed seeks suitable alliance from well employed, graduate girls from financially sound family." So its very clear what the bridegroom seeks. Thanks for being so blatant. 

The way these columns run. Its hilarious. Better than Khushwant Singh jokes.

Then there are the matrimonial websites, umpteen numbers of them. Separate for each community and each state. They are all so happy to announce free registration, free registration, free registration. But what is this free registration exactly? You can put your photo and other details free of charge for 3 days, or one week, or one month, depending on the website. But then you cannot view the contact details or family details of the other members. You can just see through the photographs. That also is limited, maybe 10 or 20 snaps. Also, you cannot avail of various facilities and offers open to the paid members. What these facilities are I hardly know for now. Then, some of these sites actually make 'best' matches for you depending on the details you give. Also you can search through their 'bank' (snaps, basically) to see hundreds of boys and girls of various professions and backgrounds. Well, it’s the same thing that the dating agencies also do, isn't it? Calling it by such and such name, does it make it any different? A rose by whatever name….

 I dare say in the ad column there should be a column, virgin: YES/NO. Well, why can't there be? There are sites which ask smoking, drinking, veg, non veg, horoscope and everything. Then, why not virginity. I dare say its important. Atleast to me!

I cannot marry a guy who has slept with another girl through this arranged marriage rigmarole. That is something I am very particular about.

So guys, what you think of these matrimonial columns and websites? Is it the best place to find a partner?