Sep 23, 2012


My birthday came and went. At the end, it was not such a bad sad day. By evening, I was quite happy.

I was working on my birthday. And since my boss knew my birthday date and kept reminding me whole of last week that a 'festival' is round the corner, I got sweets for my department and a special pack of extra sweets for my boss. Work was going busy as usual. The boss had told me long before when he asked regarding my birthday that it is for being nice to us and to relieve us early on birthdays. But alas! I was stuck.  Even by 7 o'clock, there was me stuck at work with no clue of getting relieved. Not that it mattered to me at that time. I had no plans made and I thought it best to be working than going back to my room feeling lonely. By 7:15, my college friend called me on my office phone. He works in the same office, but different department. He, his girlfriend and another friend from college were waiting for me to personally wish me and to go out for dinner. Wow! Wasn't I a happy soul? Next moment on, my mind was to how to get out of that cubicle asap. Anyways, my senior who was there was kind enough to let me go by 7:45. 

I rushed downstairs to where they were waiting. Then I remembered that I was carrying only 20 bucks and no credit card in my handbag. Anyways I went down, met them and it was a nice feeling that these friends are there for me. I wanted to go back to my room to get cash and credit card. They wouldn't hear of it. Kept telling they had enough money. So the birthday gal me, the shameless me, who was supposed to be treating others on birthday, was getting treated by them. We went to a nice sea-food restaurant and had a nice dinner  with all of us chatting so much that time went on fast. Finally, it was time to say good night.

I'm so grateful to these three wonderful people for making my birthday special. I did not expect them to come over and wait for me for around one hour. It was so special and I was very happy. It meant a lot to me. So, that was how I became older by one year.

Sep 20, 2012


I know its been a very long time since I wrote something in this blog. Well, I shall fill up with the details of my messed up life on a later date, or maybe not.

Lets come to the present. Today. The 20th of September. Tomorrow is my birthday. And the truth is I'm very unhappy and very lonely. I'm in this city away from home where I used to have friends. I was happy to come back here. But now I'm very lonely here. Most of my friends have moved over to other places. The rest who are around are busy with their own life (i.e married) or their career. No one seems to have time to spend with me on this Sunday before my birthday. I tried making friends with my new colleagues. But somehow I take a long time to make friends and I don’t know if we connect or not. I don't have anyone to go out for lunch or dinner with or go to a pub with. No one to go out for movies with. This is such a lonely lonely life. I'm getting depressed.

Its been such a long time since I cut a birthday cake. No one to get me one. Now I'm really thinking of buying a birthday cake for myself. Then I would have to cut it all by myself which would again make me more miserable. I miss those days when my parents used to throw a party for me inviting all the children in the neighbourhood. And those days when my friends used to knock my door at 12 midnight and give me birthday bumps and make me cut a surprise birthday cake. And then they would smear my face with the chocolate (it would always be chocolate!) icing from the cake. I really really miss those days. Would I ever get it back again?  

I feel there is no one in my life who can make this one day in my life special for me...