Jan 18, 2011

Facebook - the Saviour

"I didn't know the role of social networking forums in the modern Indian arranged marriage. Now I am enlightened!"



Next battle is against a South African. Seeing his expression in the photo, he looked like a loser playboy. The smile showing all his 32 teeth was itself a turnoff. And he had kept the first two buttons of his shirt open to show his hairy chest. The rest of his shirt showed his flab bulging out of the tight garment. Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! Disgusting! But my very knowledgeable mom goes, "He's the same profession as you" (As if success of the marriage had anything to do with profession!). " He seems to like you very much RB. He has given his email id for you to mail him". "His parents are teachers so he would have been brought up really well". My mom has this soft corner for teachers' kids as she herself is a professor's kid and she believes that just because they are teachers' kids they would be impeccable. What rubbish! I gave her a few examples of teacher's kids turning out to be real bastards. "Those are all exceptions".

I didn't argue. Anyways the guy was in South Africa and he'll be coming only after a couple of months. I have time I thought. But for this I didn't have to rake my brain. Facebook did it!
 
 Armed with the email id, what does my mother do? She searches him in facebook. She has been recently introduced into facebook and has become an avid facebook fan. She has been adding friends and aquaintnces very enthusiastically. I, for my part, refused to be friends with her. Mothers should be banned from being friends with their kids in facebook. As if real-life stalking  was not enough, now mothers can keep a tab on their kids in cyber life also! Coming back to the teeth showing loser playboy, my mom finds him in facebook quite easily. He has put the same monstrous photo as his profile photo. She finds that he is what he has told- profession and education wise. And she is impressed until she checks out his photos. (I should say it was very stupid of him to keep his album visible to the public). After seeing the photos my mother's opinion of him changes from impeccable disciplined teachers' kid to philandering womanising drunkard!

 Thank You Facebook! Providence must have sent you.

Now my mom has decided to scrutinise all my wannabe husbands through facebook. She thinks their info in such public forums will give us a small idea of their personality. I found out that my mom is not the only one with this opinion. My friend's sister had got married recently. She tells me that their family went through facebook and orkut mania. Not just inspecting the guy's profile but going through all his friends in the friends list also. All his activities, comments and whatever visible were scrutinized. As if a ghost in his past may suddenly jump out of facebook. Guess my mom is far better than them.
 
Now my mom is behind me for changing my facebook profile photo in which I thought I was very pretty (Going by the comments of my friends). "Mamma, what is wrong with that photo? It was taken by best friend P. All my friends liked it."  " RB its pretty. But there are other photos in which you are prettier and more beautiful. Put them." I kept my profile photo. Its exhilarating to irritate her.

This post will be incomplete if I do not mention that I received three friend requests from wannabe husbands. When the first friend request came, I had no clue who he was. No mutual friend. So send him a message asking if I knew him. Pat came the reply. " I have seen your profile in the matrimonial column. Like your photo. So searched you in fb." Boy, I was furious. Furious that he had the audacity to not only stalk me on facebook  but to send me a friend request also. I didn't give him any reply. I rejected him as a friend. He was clever enough to get the message. To the second and third requests, I didn’t bother to respond.
      

22 comments:

  1. Yeah, I'm not sure that you can get a super accurate picture of someone from their social media, but you can at least check for some red flags. Snap judgment's not always great, but sometimes it's what you need to stop yourself from burning your fingers on the stove!

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  2. Social media is an interesting way to look up people. You can find all kinds of interesting things...and hopefully nothing bad for the ones you actually like!

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  3. @ C. N. Nevets: Snap judgements are not right. But if one is convinced of an obvious flaw in the person, with evidence, then I think it is justified.

    @ Lydia: I guess when you like someone, you like him inspite of all his bad attributes.

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  4. That's crazy, interesting new use for facebook! Like Nevets said, it's not incredibly accurate, but a profile picture can tell you a lot about someone. Hopefully it will help you out =)

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  5. Omg the friend request thing happened to me also. I ignored it.

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  6. @ Trish: But what if the guy is clever and has created a facebook profile which is picture perfect. Men can go to any length!

    @Mehwish: Ha ha ha... I changed my privacy settings so that I am not searchable in facebook. But facebook's privacy policy keeps changing everyday!

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  7. Thankfully, my parents thinks FB is full of shit! And, I'm a teacher's daughter and I think I live to irritate my parents! It's not an easy life :P

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  8. Have you ever tried blocking someone on Facebook, Miss Runaway? It's a useful way of making yourself invisible to undesirables.

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  9. wow goodjob facebook saved you! i agree with you, mothers should be banned from being friends with their kids. well my mom is friends with me there and we actually are going along but i feel kind of annoyed whenever she comments on my posts. you know how mothers could be! aarrgh!

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  10. Hahaha...I always thought facebook gives a pretty good idea of a person. I mean, it is soooo easy to forget that you have added a bunch of other people who are not your "friends" and you keep shouting out your business on it. But yes, totally agree...NO MOMS or DADS on fb! really...do NOT need that kind spying. The good thing tho is, you can msg each other without adding that person on fb. Maybe u can try that? :D

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  11. I felt a little bad laughing while reading this. You described mr. facebook and your mom vividly. Thanks and hope you find some privacy and mr. right soon.

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  12. Oh dear, is all I can say. At least your mom caught this one before he made his way all the way to your house! Yay Facebook! :)

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  13. hey
    just read ur comment. little confused. what award? I checked ur posts n dont see it or maybe I am going blind, thts wht mom says lolz

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  14. @Shruthi : That's exactly my parents' opinion when fb started. later mom realised that many of her old friends are in fb and she joined it! Still, she finds finds fault with me using fb. And even I like to irritate parents (=control freaks).

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  15. @ Mr. Gorilla: That's what I had thought I'll do. But these blocked profiles can use another email id and start again. So ignoring them is the best.

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  16. @ Maria: Oh mothers commenting on your posts... That would be a embarassing situation!


    @ Mad Fat Girl: Well agreed. Btw in the new updated facebook one cannot send private messages..

    @ Shopgirl: Thanks..
    But I'm not so keen on finding Mr.Right so early in life. I guess there's time and Mr.Right can wait.


    @Ladytruth: Ha ha ha.. That's true!

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  17. I like FB as it helped me connect with friends whom I lost when I moved half-way across the world... nevertheless, funny story, I like the way you tell these stories :) keep it up!

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  18. hey,
    its kind of gr8 2 hear tht IT has led to social awareness in a special way. though it is nt essential tht info gained is accurate yet it give a clue and tht is enough to make timely decision.
    kinda of like the new use of social media.:)
    @runawaybride i have a ques 2 ask so if i can pm let me know i hope i m nt invading ur privacy.

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  19. @Bz: Welcome here..

    @Magic fog: You ask at your own discretion.

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  20. Facebook has so much going wrong for it. But this is not one of them... If it will prevent the littlest bit of heartbreak, then I'm all for pre-screening of potential husbands by using Facebook.

    Good luck! I can't wait to read more.

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  21. HAHAHAHAHAHAAA! OMG! Do we have the same mother? LOL! Not true. My only knows what I show her of FB. I don't have to worry. Thank goodness for low privacy settings. How you described him..ugh. Ohhh I am going to have so much fun following your chronicles.

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  22. RECENT SUPREM COURT RELAXATION ON INDIAN WEDDING DIVORCE PROCESS IS AN ALARMING SIGN FOR FUTURE INDIAN WED LIFE ENDANGER .IT IS AFRAID OF THAT ,DUE TO MAXIMUM INDEPENDENCE AND 21ST CENTURY MENTAL SMARTNESS THE FEMALE ETHICS TODAY MAY N WILL CAUSE TO SOIL AND SPOIL HOMELY MARRIED PARTNERS RELATIONS.RESULTING TO FURTHER LEADING TO MARRAIGE LIFE AFFAIRS AS TO DEVIL HELL PENDAMONIUM LIKE ALTRA MODERN PRESENT FOREIGN SOCIAL SYLE OF LIVING FLASH LIFE ENACT TODAY.

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