May 25, 2011

The Feign Game



How difficult is it to make men understand!?! I gave up! Then I realised its not because its such a herculean task, its just that they are not interested in understanding or listening to you. They don't care. They are not bothered. They don't want to understand.

This Fair Guy is giving me a lot of sleepless nights and headaches. And I'm beginning to realize how horrible the emotion Love is. It has the power to create as well as destroy. And in my case, its heading for the latter.

What is there so difficult to understand when I tell him I want him to move on from his previous unrequited love for proceeding furthur in our relationship? He assures me that he is trying to get over her. How the fuck is he going to get over her if he is constantly thinking of what to post on her facebook wall, what to message her and how to tease her. I have almost given up my pride and dignity trying to make him understand what he should do to move on from her, telling him he has to close his doors at her. ( Can you imagine? I told him that much!). But he doesn't seem to understand. At the end of the conversation, he keeps asking, " Tell me, dear. What do you want me to do? Anything for you."

I am exasperated now! Even shouting out from the loudspeaker is not going to make him get to do it. Why is there so much confusion for him when I say I want him to move on from his previous love? What does he not understand? What do people do to move on?

Well, since he has decided to feign sleep, I have made my decision. To move on from him. Its difficult to wake up someone who is feigning sleep. Let them sleep to their content.
 




22 comments:

  1. Sweety, don't generalize. Not all men are equal. It is not that "they don't understand": he doesn't understand. Or he does, but he is just not ready to let her go.
    I personally believe that it is not for you-or anyone, for that matter- to tell him what to do. All you can do is tell him what you accept and what you don't, watch his reaction and his acts, and take decisions for yourself. Even when in a relationship, we remain independent human beings.
    Love is a wonderful feeling, but IMHO, love is what comes after the first stage of infatuation and fascination with the other. I think of love as the peaceful stage of a relationship, the one that appears when there's dialogue, when one knows one is loved too and everyday life is not a rollercoaster but a nice prairie full of flowers instead ;) Something more like this: http://www.midnightangel308.com/best_kind_of_love.htm
    Hang in there and keep believing in love, but most of all, believe in yourself and in your right to be loved as you deserve.

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  2. He can't change his emotions just because you tell him to, Miss Runaway. If you don't like playing second fiddle you have to walk away.

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  3. I think you are doing the right thing, moving on. You deserve a man who will treat you as Number One!

    Blogger keeps saying I'm Anonymouts....but I'm Eva from Wrestling With Retirement.

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  4. I think that he is just not ready to let go of her, and it's not right or wrong it just is. You don't have to be part of the equation though, you deserve someone who wants you and only you. He will have to decide for himself when he will give up on loving someone who doesn't love him just as you have. I think you made the right choice even if it was a very frustrating one to make.

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  5. I totally agree with Bella. He expects to have the cake as well as the icing (or some such metaphor), and you can say that he can't have both.
    And I do believe your choice was the right one.

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  6. I couldn't agree more. You should move on. And try your best to show him as if you don't care. He doesn't know how to appreciate you because now he always has you no matter what he does. But once you put a gap and you don't care, God's willing he'll realise that what he had just missed. You deserve better! :)

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  7. I think you're ready to walk out on this relationship. So please do. While walking out if you have the time, give him one tight slap also.

    Don't give him an explanation, he does not deserve it. Just stop talking to him and stop dealing with this nonsense. There's no need for it.

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  8. I feel for you. I am at a vulnerable point of my life too. Same here, matters of the heart. I understand your exasperation, I've bee there or I'm still there but I swear to God I want to move out from this shitty state. Your Fair guy is of the similar specie with the guy I wrote on a post. They're jerks. It is sad that we fell for them. But you and I can still do something. Let's not wait for the guy who is still in love with someone else or who still doesn't know what he wants. We cannot force them or ask them to change. We can only change us. So let's move on. But let's not give up on every man or the idea of love itself.

    Yes, I'm with you, most of them cannot fully understand how women are programmed and hun most of them are going to break our hearts. But as what Marilyn Monroe said, "You can't give up because if you do, you'll never find your soulmate. You'll never find that half that makes whole and that goes for everything."

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  9. I must say that I personally do not agree with the advice of not talking to him or faking that everything is ok. On the contrary, I strongly believe in "Do to others as you would want done to you". I think every relationship deserves to end with a serious, honest talk , that doing so shows maturity and rationality and that it helps "closing the circle", so to speak...Or at least it has helped me do so, and I have regretted when it has ended differently...

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  10. Good for you babe. But don't lapse into it. It's easy to do that at this early, vulnerable state.

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  11. Thank you all of you-for your wonderful support and standing by me in this difficult moment of my life.

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  12. Your blogger friends are always here for you and I do believe it was a right choice.

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  13. Just saw this blog and couldn't resist commenting. Nice blog idea, coherently written pieces, and you are already coming up high on related Google searches. If only I had so much to write about my life :)

    Btw, sorry that your relationship with FairGuy didn't go well. I am guessing you expect everyone to behave logically. Sometimes though, people just can't help it. tc.

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  14. Sometimes walking away is both the most freeing feeling and most painful. You walk away from a dream, a hope you had for yourself, for your life, and for him. Time will heal your heart. Soon, you will find a man worthy of your thoughts and soul. Stay strong--everything will be okay. Life has a funny way of helping us out. *hugs to you*

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  15. For an Indian, it's not that easy to get out of a relationship, no matter, how dysfunctional and meaningless it becomes..and you, my friend, are a living testimony to this. The more you carry on the more bitter you'll become and the more venom you'll feel like spitting.IMHO, quitting cold turkey is the best way out now. wish u happiness.

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  16. Smart move.... you have to move on if the other person isnt willing to

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