A Little Gaming Experience

Fair Guy and I are seeing each other, but we are not a couple yet. According to him, we are special friends with special benefits.

That time I never knew how much the special benefits would extend to. I was a novice ( still so). I'm learning and I'm enjoying his teaching. The class has reached only upto second base. It took a long time time to graduate from first to second base.  Partly because there was no private enough place to play until we found the basement of a restaurant. And also because I value my big girls a lot and I had decided they were not to be handled by any tom, dick or harry. And mostly because, this was my first.

I was all enthusiastic to attend the practice sessions because I was cheated into believing that we both were at the same level and combined studies would be good for us. And after the first taste of the game, I needed to touch first base everytime we met. It was thrilling and delirious. I should give due credit to Fair Guy; he has amazing lips and everytime he necks, I could feel a pleasaurable sensation going down till my toes.  But my interest for second base ended the day Fair Guy decided that he had to be honest with me and told me he had already reached upto the third base a couple of years ago. In effect, I attended only one class of second base and that was not much of a practice.

I ask myself, why am i upset? There was no commitment or anything. Moreover it was before my times.And does it matter? I know that I would definitely not end up with him. Then why the hell am I pulling a big face over it? Because I repeatedly kept asking him his experiences and he repeatedly kept saying, " RB, you are the first! There were no others..." And then this confession of sorts ( why do I call it a confession?) has really put me off. Because i have no previous experience and he has. I know I'm being puerile and his is a small experience. Still...the balance has tilted.

Caged Bird

Are all parents like this; or is it only Indian parents or is it only MY parents??

Take this scenario. I'm a twenty three year old woman trying to enjoy her small life in this beautiful earth with wonderful people. But I'm under house arrest. Not the Aung San Suu Kyi sort of house arrest. I'm just not allowed to go hang out with people of my age. The day's incident is thus. I needed to go shopping. Ever since I came back from the Big City to this godforsaken place called home, I have been sort of lonely. In the first place, I did not have many friends near home. I was a timid girl back when I was at home. Timid for the simple reason that I was never allowed to mingle with my peers. I was not one among the neighbourhood children who used to play games in the evening, pick up mangoes from other neighbour's trees, or just simply be making noises in the lane to annoy the neighbours. Now you get the picture, don't you? My parents have their own reasons for not letting me do all this, but frankly what reason can be good enough not to let a child enjoy her childhood. (Before, you jump to any conclusions let me say this. I was a normal child and did not have any heart disease or any other contraindication to play games and run about. )

As I was saying, I have only few friends in my hometown. Rather only two friends and among them only one is presently staying in the hometown. Now, what can be wrong with two 23 year old ladies hanging out, having a cup of coffee or having lunch or doing shopping together? Is it a criminal offence? Is it a moral offence? Mind you,I'm not asking to hang out with her everyday.

I wanted to go shopping for general feminine stuff.  I told my mom I would take B along with me. My mom would hear nothing of it. Her excuse- "Papa may not like it" "The last time you went out with her papa was making such a big fuss." etc etc etc. So the result is I have to go shopping for lingerie, cheap jewellery, cosmetics,pajamas and other what nots with my nagging mom at tow. How amusing that can be!

Thus goes my only chance of interaction with my peer group!

You would ask me- why should I be taking permission from my parents? Why can't I just go? Because firstly, I live with my parents and living with them means I have to put up whatever bullshit they do to MY life. Secondly, I do not have an exhibitable income yet (though money for shopping is MY money) and so I'm still economically dependent on them. Thirdly, my parents are bloody control freaks. They would be happy if they can key in when I would sleep, when I would pee, when I would eat etc. Fourthly, after so many years of being caged up like this I do not know what my fellow twenty-something gals would be doing in this sort of situation. And finally, I do not have the guts to go against my parents. 

One day I'm going to snap. And I hope before that day comes, I'm free from this cage!

Fussy about fuzz

There seems to be a lot of discussions in the blog-world regarding hair these days. So I thought I shall clear some of my doubts regarding  hair.

Well, my doubt is not regarding the long or short tresses on a girl. ( I am yet to figure out why is it that hair on any other part of a girl other than on her head is considered  un-beautiful). 

It is regarding the hair way down there... yes, the pubic hair. It started when my friend mentioned her sexual escapades with her boyfriend. She uses a razor and she had shaved a couple of days before the said encounter. So there was a small stubble already forming. Her boyfriend uses a scissors to keep the area trimmed. The problem was this.... At the end of a fruitful night, the boyfriend says, " Wish you had not shaved. Now my teeny weeny is sore because of rubbing against your stubble." This comment had such an effect on my hapless girlfriend that she was in the brink of depression. Mind you, this was her first and she thoroughly enjoyed it. But the dickhead boyfriend had to come up with such a comment! 

I know we girls do enjoy the stubble on the man more than a moustache or a beard. The feel of the stubble rubbing against one's face or hands or neck or any other part is so nice and is known to turn on some women. But what is it with the menfolk? The pubic stubble making his dick sore? Please enlighten me about this, you guys out there.

My girlfriend was so curious after this incident that she went about asking a lot of girls what they do with the shrub down there. And I would also like to know. What do you men and women out there do with your pubic hair? Do you trim it with scissors? Do you shave? Do you use hair removing creams? And how do you want your partner's pubic hair to be? Do you want it to be hairy or hairless? Shaved or trimmed with scissors?

A Small Deviation

You all would have made your own guesses about the reasons which took me away from this blogging world. And the personal reason is….

I'm seeing someone… Yes, I think I can call it that. He is not (yet) my boyfriend. But what can I say? We both have feelings, strong feelings for each other.

A quick gist of the story so far. We shall call him Fair Guy as he takes immense pride in being fair as compared to the rest of the Indian population. I met Fair Guy about a year ago. He is the friend of my friend's boyfriend. I was in the Big City and he had accompanied my friend and her boyfriend for visiting the Big City. My first impression of him was that he is a lazy foolish good-for-nothing fellow and this impression more or less remains the same. It was a casual meeting. After that there was no contact until my friend informs me some months later that he has invited me to his birthday party the following weekend. So I took his number from her and wished him. (I had to, didn't I? Considering he has invited me to his birthday party.) Though I didn't want to go for his party, my friend somehow convinced me to go so that we (my friend and me) could meet up. It was not a big affair. There was only me, my friend, her boyfriend and another girl whom I thought to be Fair Guy's girlfriend but later turned out to be his facebook friend. After that there were occasional sms and chat, but I didn't encourage him. I almost didn't remember him when he added me as his friend in facebook.

I don't know what happened to me in January; I started to respond to his stupid smses. Maybe it was my boredom, or maybe it was the result of seeing pathetic profiles in the matrimonial websites; whatever it was we started to sms like never before. At first it was general mundane stuff, but soon it became outright flirtatious and adult stuff. (He now tells me that this is his MO for any girl and he is able to chat up and 'crack up' most of the girls. And I felt a transient feeling that I came off cheaply to him.) Now we sms, chat in facebook and gtalk, and call each other almost by the hour everyday. It has become something like he is slowly invading my life like weeds infesting someone's garden. I may not have given him permission, but I have given him enough fertile ground.

Am I attracted to him? NO. Do we have similar interests? NO. Do I think he is the one for me? NO. Are we compatible? NO. And in India we have more questions. Do we belong to the same religion and caste? NO. I'm a Christian and he is a Hindu. So what is it that pulls both of us? Is it the hormones? Is it our need to fulfill our respective biological and evolutionary roles? Or is it just the deprivation of sex in a pseudo-puritanical society? Frankly I don't know.

So friends, this has been the reason for my short absence from the blogging. And I'm frankly admitting to myself, I'm not a multi-tasker. I can't handle a profession and studies and an affair (or whatever it can be called now) at the same time.

Now, I'm slowly trying to get back my senses.  

Did you miss me??

I know many of you might have been wondering where I disappeared into. I had some urgent professional and personal matters which had come up and which made me a bit busy. I shall write about it in my next post which is soon to follow. Hope atleast some of you missed me and my comments.