Mar 24, 2011

Caged Bird

Are all parents like this; or is it only Indian parents or is it only MY parents??

Take this scenario. I'm a twenty three year old woman trying to enjoy her small life in this beautiful earth with wonderful people. But I'm under house arrest. Not the Aung San Suu Kyi sort of house arrest. I'm just not allowed to go hang out with people of my age. The day's incident is thus. I needed to go shopping. Ever since I came back from the Big City to this godforsaken place called home, I have been sort of lonely. In the first place, I did not have many friends near home. I was a timid girl back when I was at home. Timid for the simple reason that I was never allowed to mingle with my peers. I was not one among the neighbourhood children who used to play games in the evening, pick up mangoes from other neighbour's trees, or just simply be making noises in the lane to annoy the neighbours. Now you get the picture, don't you? My parents have their own reasons for not letting me do all this, but frankly what reason can be good enough not to let a child enjoy her childhood. (Before, you jump to any conclusions let me say this. I was a normal child and did not have any heart disease or any other contraindication to play games and run about. )

As I was saying, I have only few friends in my hometown. Rather only two friends and among them only one is presently staying in the hometown. Now, what can be wrong with two 23 year old ladies hanging out, having a cup of coffee or having lunch or doing shopping together? Is it a criminal offence? Is it a moral offence? Mind you,I'm not asking to hang out with her everyday.

I wanted to go shopping for general feminine stuff.  I told my mom I would take B along with me. My mom would hear nothing of it. Her excuse- "Papa may not like it" "The last time you went out with her papa was making such a big fuss." etc etc etc. So the result is I have to go shopping for lingerie, cheap jewellery, cosmetics,pajamas and other what nots with my nagging mom at tow. How amusing that can be!

Thus goes my only chance of interaction with my peer group!

You would ask me- why should I be taking permission from my parents? Why can't I just go? Because firstly, I live with my parents and living with them means I have to put up whatever bullshit they do to MY life. Secondly, I do not have an exhibitable income yet (though money for shopping is MY money) and so I'm still economically dependent on them. Thirdly, my parents are bloody control freaks. They would be happy if they can key in when I would sleep, when I would pee, when I would eat etc. Fourthly, after so many years of being caged up like this I do not know what my fellow twenty-something gals would be doing in this sort of situation. And finally, I do not have the guts to go against my parents. 

One day I'm going to snap. And I hope before that day comes, I'm free from this cage!


  1. This is crazy, Miss Runaway, you're 23 years old and your parents are treating you like naughty child! I hope you find an honest fellow to elope with.

  2. oh wow and I thought my parents were bad.
    You will have to push and have them reach a compromise. Ex- I will be home by this time if I go now or I go once a week and stay out late...

  3. Sounds rough, my parents are in law enforcement, so they were pretty strict too...this only made me rebel more...

  4. I think you have to find the ways and means to be independent. Go back to the city, find a job, and get a place of your own. You must stand up for yourself.

  5. I hope you get out of that cage soon. So claustrophobic!

  6. @ Mr. Gorilla: Honest and rich fellow it has to be ;-)

    @ Mehwish: The thing is parents seldom see our point of view.

    @ UD: Yes, the more strict the parents be, the more rebellious the kids.

    @ Eva: I wish I could. The thing is I want to go for higher studies.

    @ Lydia: Yeah, I know.

  7. There must be some reason why they don't want you to go out with anyone else- unless it is because they fear some handsome stranger may make a pass at their daughter, and she would swoon and fall in love with him at that instant.
    You are 23, and you can just say that you are going out to buy things. Even if you are dependent on them financially, you can always assert yourself as an individual and do things your way.

  8. Wow! Shopping for lingerie with Mom. That sounds like the best part of this whole deal :)

  9. I recommend having a sit-down with BOTH of your parents.

    You are old enough, and obviously mature enough, to choose what you do in your spare time. Prepare for your sit-down by writing a list of items you'd like to have control over. A list is kind of important because you don't want to get wrapped up in the moment and forget where you're going! Your parents sound rather overbearing (not judging, just saying) and, as such, I wouldn't expect to get all of the items on your list "approved" as it were.

    But for your piece of mind - you should at least TRY.

    It's difficult to make your own way in the world WHILE you're going to school, but it is possible. Though I'm assuming your parents are also paying for your education and moving out might nix that funding...? Getting a part-time job and finding a roommate (or two) might work well with your school schedule and give you some much needed wing space.

    Good luck.

  10. @ Merrymusing: I know it sounds silly. But my parents are like that. Both of them don't hang out with friends so they ACT as if they cannot understand what hanging out with friends means.

    @ Dani: Well...

    @ Sam: This has been the best advice. I shall definitely try it once I can muster up some courage.

  11. I can't believe that someone is dealing with this kind of things.. I don't know how you can take it.. I am independent since I was 18, so I really don't know what to tell, I just know I wouldn't take it.. No matter what.. You have to talk with them, tell them how you feel.. Or go live somewhere else, find a job, find a roommate..

  12. This is one of those impossible situations. In order to "Win" your higher studies, you must "Lose" your independence. How sad.

    May I ask, though, how much good those higher studies will do for you in a future where you are still under your parents' thumbs?

    A hard choice must be made. I sincerely hope you have the intestinal fortitude to make it soon.

  13. Oh, thats quite a bummer. I'm living with my parents too...and I resent having to let them know where I am if I'm going somewhere. You seem to have it a bit tougher. I do hope you can get our of the house soon. You can still save enough for higher studies with a job in a city, right?

  14. oww Miss Runaway. in the worst case scenario, how would your dad react if you insisted on doing what you need to do ? i really hope that you'd be able to be out soon.

  15. problem is understood..

    the thing is ur parents can't believe on u.. they think u r not wise enough to do things on ur own.. they fear that she is so full of energy , if we loose her, she may go all way long away from them.. and seeing the world now a days... it just takes a small mistake.. and life will be ruined...

  16. It is certainly not just your parents. I can assure you that ;-)