Mar 8, 2011

A Small Deviation

You all would have made your own guesses about the reasons which took me away from this blogging world. And the personal reason is….

I'm seeing someone… Yes, I think I can call it that. He is not (yet) my boyfriend. But what can I say? We both have feelings, strong feelings for each other.

A quick gist of the story so far. We shall call him Fair Guy as he takes immense pride in being fair as compared to the rest of the Indian population. I met Fair Guy about a year ago. He is the friend of my friend's boyfriend. I was in the Big City and he had accompanied my friend and her boyfriend for visiting the Big City. My first impression of him was that he is a lazy foolish good-for-nothing fellow and this impression more or less remains the same. It was a casual meeting. After that there was no contact until my friend informs me some months later that he has invited me to his birthday party the following weekend. So I took his number from her and wished him. (I had to, didn't I? Considering he has invited me to his birthday party.) Though I didn't want to go for his party, my friend somehow convinced me to go so that we (my friend and me) could meet up. It was not a big affair. There was only me, my friend, her boyfriend and another girl whom I thought to be Fair Guy's girlfriend but later turned out to be his facebook friend. After that there were occasional sms and chat, but I didn't encourage him. I almost didn't remember him when he added me as his friend in facebook.

I don't know what happened to me in January; I started to respond to his stupid smses. Maybe it was my boredom, or maybe it was the result of seeing pathetic profiles in the matrimonial websites; whatever it was we started to sms like never before. At first it was general mundane stuff, but soon it became outright flirtatious and adult stuff. (He now tells me that this is his MO for any girl and he is able to chat up and 'crack up' most of the girls. And I felt a transient feeling that I came off cheaply to him.) Now we sms, chat in facebook and gtalk, and call each other almost by the hour everyday. It has become something like he is slowly invading my life like weeds infesting someone's garden. I may not have given him permission, but I have given him enough fertile ground.

Am I attracted to him? NO. Do we have similar interests? NO. Do I think he is the one for me? NO. Are we compatible? NO. And in India we have more questions. Do we belong to the same religion and caste? NO. I'm a Christian and he is a Hindu. So what is it that pulls both of us? Is it the hormones? Is it our need to fulfill our respective biological and evolutionary roles? Or is it just the deprivation of sex in a pseudo-puritanical society? Frankly I don't know.

So friends, this has been the reason for my short absence from the blogging. And I'm frankly admitting to myself, I'm not a multi-tasker. I can't handle a profession and studies and an affair (or whatever it can be called now) at the same time.

Now, I'm slowly trying to get back my senses.  


  1. Oh Miss Runaway, you sly vixen you! I think you might be suffering from "bad boy syndrome". It's very much a hormonal thing.

  2. HAHAHAHA!! I love it! You have thing for the bad boy! I love that your first impression of him was a "good for nothing blah blah blah". That is SOOOO what I would expect to hear my mum say. LOL! I LOVE IT! Good for you!! And you know what? Even if you don't have anything in common, or you're not attracted to him, or you don't like him, or even if you don't have anything to say to him...THIS IS A GREAT THING!! Thanks for sharing with us!!! I am excited for you!

  3. From someone very familiar with hormonal issues, I think I can safely say what you are experiencing is definitely hormonally related. lol Still, be his friend, get to know him better, and let things unfold on their own accord. If this friendship/relationship is making you happy, then that's what matters. :)

  4. I figured it must be something like that keeping you away. Proceed with caution. It sounds like the only reason you're doing this is because you know you shouldn'1.

  5. It does sound like bad boy syndrome. Be careful! Watch your heart, and be careful of his.

    Let us know what happens!

  6. Don't commit, enjoy the thrills n leave :) it's just a phase, driven by boredom, hormones n a nice face (if u think he has one).

  7. hmmmm this is a cute post. made me smile. i've been away for a while too. goodluck with Mr Fair guy..:D so nice to catch up with you! :)

  8. I knew it...I was only wondering whether you were already married :-)
    Good Luck in finding Mr. Right Guy :-)

  9. Oh yeap! Tried this. It's fun, if that is all you want. Beyond that, it's not as fulfilling. But yea, have fun and be smart! :) Enjoy.

  10. @ Mr.GOrilla: Bad Boy Syndrome?? Hmmm.. Do good guys really exist?

    @ Rita: You are excited for me? Even I'm excited for myself.

    @ The Frisky Virgin: Yes, it makes me happy even though I know it may not have a future. I'm just going to live in this moment and not going to expect anything back in the future.

    @ Eva: You have so much of wordly experience. Maybe thats the real reason why I'm doing it ;-)

    @ Lydia: Thanks for telling me I should be cautious with not just my heart but his too.

    @Jaya: He definitely has a nice face.

  11. @ Maria: So nice to catch up with you too.

    @ Merrymusing: You guessed right. But Mr. Fair Guy is not the Mr. Right Guy.

    @ Mad Fat Girl: Yes, its fun for the moment. Lets see where things go.

  12. Runaway...

    I am happy for you. Mostly because this is YOUR choice, and not an 'arrangement'.

    Is it a great choice? Based on your missive, probably not. Does it fill a need for both of you at this time and place? Sounds like it does.
    If you feel comfortable with him, that is what counts.

    I can tell you from personal experience that some 'poor choices' turn out to be quite wonderful!

    xoxoxo, cd

  13. How wonderful! The bad boys are always the ... best??? ;) Have fun while you make it last for as long as you want!

  14. agreed with the above. As a mid 20s guy myself, I see that this phenomenon actually works even if done conscientiously.
    All I say is have fun and go crazy but always keep in mind this is not the best thing for you long term. As long as you can keep your short term and long term needs in mind, have fun!

  15. Girl...this is getting interesting now....Just a word of caution...don't sign up for a heart break later...

  16. Watch out, dear friend! Things can go out of gear. Proceed with caution. Danger ahead. Don't Jump into conclusions....

  17. @Clare Dunn: Yes, its MY choice and that's what makes it more wonderful.

    @Ladytruth: Almost always it happens that the bad guys are the ones who are fun.

    @Anonymous: Short term and long term needs shall be kept in mind.

    @ Shalet: Hopefully I don't enter the danger zone.

    @ Caterpillar : Thanks for your advice. No heart break later.


  18. Entha oru lovely! :P
    I like how you put one label on him.. paavam chekkan! Hah!
    So, here's the deal - I think all this online lowe is perfect at the moment if this goes into real-time and actual feelings happen you're a dead duck and people eat dead ducks for dinner! :P

  19. @ Shruthi: Its not a label. He proudly proclaims that he is fair!

  20. Hahaha... I have fallen for a similar guy!! Pleasure reading ur blog... Thank god for google and me stumbling upon ur blog :)

  21. I like your blog! Am kinda new to the blogging community. Feels good to know that I'm not the only girl who's gonna have to deal with the detriments of an arranged marriage.
    I stumbled upon your blog and I've been reading most of your posts in the reverse order. :)
    Well, feel free to check out my blog, I do blog quite a bit too!