Dec 8, 2010

Misleading profiles

Its been sometime since my matrimonial ad had been put in the website, seeking suitable guys. My parents have not yet reached a consensus whether they want guys settled in India or abroad, they want engineers or doctors( why these are the only two options for me, I do not understand). I am glad that atleast they have decided that it has to be of male sex! Some people might ask me why my parents have to decide these things, why can't I myself decide even if its an arranged marriage. Ah well, frankly I don't care. I am quite disillusioned with this whole institution of marriage. People say it’s a necessary evil. Necessary for whom? This is a separate discussion in itself.

There had been calls, this side that side. Our son's id number is so and so. Kindly respond as soon as possible. He is employed there, his salary is this much, his shares are so much. We have property at such and such place. Yes, he will be able to take the bride to his place. And so on goes the conversation. It is still a mystery to me how complete strangers can give full financial and property details to each other. These profile too, another means of vanity. One profile of a guy brags that the family is connected to some 250 relations, and every one of them is in influential posts in India and abroad. 250 relatives! They must have multiplied like rats. A really horny family.
Each and every profile is showing off all the good qualities of the boy/ girl (wonder why call them boy/girl as some of them are even as old as 52!). Why can't enthusiastic parents see through the flaws of their children? Its as if each of them are the best student, most intelligent, most successful, most saintly. And marriage profiles are the only place where one can find non-drinking non-smoking malayali guys. C'mon who has made the beverage industry of Kerala so profitable??

If people are so out of touch with reality, how can they find 'suitable' partners? Its not the money or the family status that matters. It’s the compatibility between two people who have to live with each other for the rest of their lives (that itself sounds so scary).  If they base their relationship on lies, how can they live with dignity and peace?

So guys and gals, why do people mislead you with these lies in the marriage profile? What is your opinion? 


  1. Hi runaway bride! I stumbled onto your site from a comment you left on another blog. This is quite an interesting story. I'm a 21 yr-old female from PA, of German descent, so I know absolutely nothing about the mechanics of Indian arranged marriage. Fascinating!

    I imagine people lie on those sites for the same reason people lie on dating sites. Suck 'em in first, then let them know the bad parts of you eventually.

    You're welcome to come visit me!

  2. I find the idea of having an arranged marriage so strange. I wonder how it works, or if it does.

  3. hi fickle cattle
    the idea might seem totally strange to you.. but it has been follwed in many asian countries from times immemorial.. some has worked.. some has not.. it works because of societal acceptance i guess.

  4. finally i have the time to sit and explore your blog. :)

    wow what can i say? i am perplexed, amazed, moved and almost going ballistic

    reading your blog description, i'm intensely curious to know more about you. if we live in the same world, i think we would be sharing the same opinions and cussing the same people. and to think we're the same age, we could be great friends!

    this particular post makes a lot of sense though i am not very familiar about fixed marriages. honestly, i'm not even aware that such tradition still exists at this modern time. thank you for the educating me.

    p.s. no matter what people say and no matter what i learn about the country, i've always wanted to travel in india. i can imagine having a girly talk with you over coffee. we could be discussing these things in person! :)

  5. This one has finally caught my attention :-) m glad i am settling for none of these things. As you said marriage is a necessary evil, i'm thankfully choosing my partner myself to commit the evil together ;-)